This. Year.

This year; This crazy, wild, often dark year. 

It’s so easy to sum it up like that – To write it off. But, for me, that would be an injustice to 2020. 

The thing about darkness is, we could never really see or appreciate the light without it. So while this may have been a year of darkness, for me, it only helped illuminate the moments of pure light within it.

If you had told me at this time last year the way that this past year would go – I would have never believed you. I don’t think any of us could have predicted it. 

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One Week Ago

One week ago, Sean asked me to dress up for a date night that he had planned earlier in the week. I thought nothing of it, other than that is was a very sweet gesture since we can’t go out right now. 

As I was getting ready, a thought had crossed my mind that maybe he was going to propose – I laughed it off and thought to myself that I’m just crazy; We are together 24/7, there’s no way he could pull that off without me knowing!

That evening we both separately got ready, and met each other downstairs. He was probably more dressed up than I was, in a suit jacket. He surprised me by pulling out a nice bottle of wine, which I don’t even know how he snuck into the house without me knowing.

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My Mentality Shift During Pandemic

I talk a little bit about how the pandemic has affected me, and how a shift in thinking has changed my outlook on these days in isolation.

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100 Days

100 days. 

100 days of isolation. 100 days of quiet chaos. 100 days lost. 100 days found. 

However you view the past 100 days since this virus took hold of our lives, it has been a journey for each and every one of us. 

At first, I saw this time as a waste of a year. I felt stuck. In a life where I was constantly moving I was forced to stop. 

Not a totally foreign concept to me. I’ve been here before; Been pushed to a stand still thanks to illness. However, this has been the first time I’ve been healthy in doing so.

“What a waste”, I thought.

That is, until I began to shift my thinking.

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Living With Chronic Illness in a Time of Pandemic

I knew this virus was serious before it even landed in Canada. Anyone with a chronic illness knows just how quickly good health can be taken away, and with that, we’re hyperaware of these things that may impact our well-being, regardless of geographics. It’s shared empathy. Shared caution. Shared fear. Shared with those affected, no matter how far away.

For me, being diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis ten years ago was life changing in so many ways. My doctor at the time gave me words that would stick with me – “This is life altering, not life ending.” And for the most part, this is true. I say “for the most part” because it does end some parts of your life. It can sometimes feel like it is over, however in the end, I always come back to those words, and remind myself that it could be worse.

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Live Free Canada Podcast

Hi Lovlies!

I recently sat down for a podcast with my friends at Live Free Canada and would love for you all to have a listen! HERE

It’s a raw and completely unrehearsed talk about mental health, Colitis, and the life I live in between.



Bell Let’s Talk Day – 2018

Hi Guys and Dolls,

Here in Canada, today is Bell’s Let’s Talk Day – We all join together in raising our voices to try to help end the stigma surrounding mental health.

Here’s a video of my thoughts and some of my story.




Oh what a difference a year can make.

This is a follow up to my blog post from last year that you can find here.

One year ago today, exactly so, I sat in a hospital chair crying after being told that I had a blood clot at the base of my skull. I didn’t even know then just how large it was; how it nearly blocked off an entire vein.

This time last year, I had barely survived the Holidays; sick and in pain, not even the slightest clue what was looming. It was horrible.

But oh what a difference a year can make.

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Today Was a Heavy Day

Progress Update – February 17th 2017

Remaining optimistic.

What Should Have Been, What Could Have been, and What Happened


A 30th birthday should be special. It’s a milestone that should be celebrated. My 30th birthday came and went with little fuss. It certainly wasn’t what it “should” have been; More importantly, it wasn’t what it “could” have been.

On December 21st, the day before I was set to leave to head home for the holidays, I went to work, as usual, and afterwards headed over to my friend’s place for our annual Christmas dinner (pizza this year) and gift exchange. That evening I had noticed that a pain would shoot through my neck and into my head whenever I bent down. Prone to headaches, migraines, and suffering from stiffness that I attributed to sitting at a desk job, with poor posture, for 6 years, I made note of it but brushed it off as a long day.

The next day I had a flight to catch but not before an early morning brow and nail appointment. It was at the salon that I had first noticed that I could barely turn my neck either way – I was super stiff, and I was just thankful that I was flying home rather than taking the bus. Once again, I brushed off the stiffness as occupational, or perhaps a slight injury from being jerked the wrong way on the streetcar. I assumed that I would get home, relax, and wake up feeling much better. I certainly was wrong.

The night I flew in my brother and I headed to watch the newest Star Wars movie in DBox (motion seats) 3D. I was nauseous the whole time, however the vibration of the seats seemed to sooth my neck stiffness a bit – “Free massage!”, I joked.

At this point, I should note that I had been throwing up for about a month or so, nearly every day. As someone who suffers from Ulcerative Colitis, I chocked this up to a new symptom of the illness. The problem with suffering from an underlying, chronic illness is that you essentially attribute most new health symptoms to it, especially when they fit the bill.

As the days went on, the stiffness quickly turned to pain that went through my neck and into the base of my skull. Fortunately for me, my parent’s home is equipped with every medical gadget you could imagine, and I love them for it! They have what’s called a TENS/EMS machine, which essentially sends little jolts of electricity to your muscles – An odd sensation, however when applied to my neck and shoulders, a bit of a relief. My mother would lovingly apply that, and I’d place a warm Magic Bag over it nearly ’round the clock. I propped myself up in the comfy recliner and hoped for the best every day.

I heartbreakingly missed my nephew’s 7th birthday party. Missed Christmas Eve at my father’s place, and nearly missed Christmas dinner as well. Christmas Eve, I lied awake all night. My niece was sleeping with me, and I was so worried to wake her. The pain and stiffness was horrible. I tried to quietly grab a heating pad for my neck, and my niece stirred awake, simply to sleepily ask, “Auntie, will you hold my hand while we sleep?” My heart melted. I lied there trying to soak in one of the sweetest moments of being an Auntie, while simultaneously waiting for her tiny grip to loosen as my pain got so severe.

Eventually, I quietly ducked into the bathroom to see if a hot shower would help. It didn’t. In that moment, I was ever so tempted to just curl up on the bathroom floor and cry myself to sleep. I was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted, and beyond sleep-deprived. This was my one visit home the entire year; My one vacation that I had waited an entire year for – This was not how it was supposed to go.

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